I returned his gaze but said nothing. Stacked in one corner were baseball bats, hockey sticks, and a few loose golf clubs, weapons that I could grasp but he probably couldn’t.

You know what I need you to do for me?

His mother had preserved his room as it had been on the day he left for college, and a cork board mounted above his student’s desk still held photographs of friends and girlfriends, medals and patches from various athletic achievements. A collection of birthday cards was spaced around the rim like a makeshift frame.

Do you know what I need for you to do for me? Or don’t you?

I looked at him.

Cut your own wrists. Like a girl.

I said nothing, remained calm, gave no indication that the crude message meant anything to me.

You see, I know what you think you are, pal. Your new husband placed one wounded red hand on my shoulder, Jane. And you sure as fuck aren’t it.

I returned to the party, accepted a glass of Chardonnay and sipped at it, wishing that it was from California, then joined a group of the bridegroom’s friends who were entertaining Sunny with tales of preposterous misbehavior. The men did not move aside to admit me but Sunny did, stepping back and even placing one hand on my forearm in accreditation.

I guess that’s not exactly what you expected to hear, is it? Jane’s new husband had called as I left him standing outside his boyhood bedroom.

But in that he was wrong, as he was in so much else.

For I had attended your wedding without any expectations, Jane.

As of course had you.

Sunny was fine until we reached the airport. But then as we rode up through the scratched and dirty plastic tunnels of the improbably complex passenger sorting mechanism at CDG, the inclined moving walk shuddering and heaving in Gallic incapability, she began weeping, as if in response to the absurd ugliness of the departure terminal, and nothing I could say or do soothed her.

#


What are the characteristics of the female principle?

Coldness. Darkness. Wetness.—

A descending trajectory. The northern side of a mountain.

Receptiveness.

What are the characteristics of the male principle?

Hotness. Brightness. Dryness.—

An ascending trajectory. The southern side of a mountain.

Penetration.