Uncle Song
Simon stared out the sliding glass doors. A knot of tree branches in Grandfather’s yard blocked the city from his view but he knew what was there without having to see it. The sun was giving off its last fierce light before waning into the evening. Office workers trailed out of their buildings in rows and crossed the overhead bridge to the entrance of the MRT station, where they disappeared into a tidy assembly of glass and steel. “There is no harm in being modern,” the pastor had once said in a sermon. “That’s what everybody wants these days, right? Young people say ‘it’s the nineties! We have computers and video games.’ But remember: all of these conveniences can never replace your spirituality. To say you don’t believe in God is to say you don’t believe in your hands, or a packet of rice or this podium.” He rapped it with his knuckles and smiled. “This solid wood.”
Ma moved closer to Uncle Song so their noses were nearly touching. “You would have taken anything, Ghim Song,” she said gently. With both palms open, she reached up to touch his face but he jerked away.
“You are wrong,” he said. He stood up and walked out of the living room. Ma pressed her fingertips to her temples. Do you see what you’ve done? Do you feel bad? Simon wanted to scream but he already knew the answer. No, of course she didn’t feel bad. Ma lived her life the way she wanted. She said what ever she felt like saying and didn’t care about ruining things for everybody else.
Uncle Song returned a few minutes later. He seemed to be searching for something to say but he didn’t have a chance because Ma spoke again.
“It’s just not you,” she said. Tears shone in her eyes. She shook her head and clasped Uncle Song’s hands. This time he did not move. He wrapped his fingers around hers and stared at the table top. “All of this preaching, going around calling yourself a reformed man. You didn’t do anything wrong in the first place. You don’t have to be ashamed of what—” She withdrew her hands and began crying softly into them.
Uncle Song left without saying goodbye. For days, Simon was the first to reach for the phone each time it rang. He did not speak to Ma. She seemed too preoccupied to notice anyway. She cried constantly and she got into arguments with Grandfather, who always said the same thing. “You are welcome to leave as well,” he told her. “You should be happy I gave you a home at all, after what you put me through.”
Eventually, the phone call from Uncle Song came. He was kind but firm as he explained why he could not be in their lives anymore. “Your mother is a good person but she does not support the changes I have made in my life. Romans 12:2 says, “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. You understand?”
“Yes,” Simon said as it sank in. Ma wanted to bring Uncle Song away from having a chance at a righteous life. She wanted him to be like her so she wouldn’t be the only sinner in the family.
It was not easy to hate Ma because after the phone call, she was even more miserable. Uncle Song had refused to speak to her, or tell Simon the phone number at his new place. Simon tried to be cool towards Ma; then he tried disgust and pity, but nothing worked. He did not know how to feel about her, as if there was an emotion that he had not discovered yet.
Right before the September holidays, a letter arrived from Principal Chock informing all parents that Religious Emphasis Week sessions would take place in lieu of all final period lessons. Students were expected to return to school over the next five Saturdays to make up for the classes they missed. “What rubbish,” Ma retorted. “They force you to miss lessons and listen to their Jesus talk for a week and then they require you to do make up work.” Simon saw the light then. For him, it was a quick flash but it was a sign nonetheless. He would find a way to talk to Uncle Song after his speech and show him he was not like Ma; her sins were no longer his. “I’m becoming a Christian,” he would announce, before visiting Principal Chock to make it official.
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