a note on our sprawling disembodiment
or,
THE WEEPING FLESH OF THE MONGREL
the wound that never shuts. we know it as everyday: work or look for work or bear the knowledge of not working feed the kids call the medicare office and the bank to translate for mom wash the clothes play with the kids vacuum take out the trash from the kitchen take out your mementos from your grandparents home so they can short-sell the house take out the trash from our facebook wall make signs for the protest stay home and ache in our bodies pass out candles at the vigil watch the bullshit news coverage and ache in our bodies fill out an AR-11 Alien’s Change of Address form ache for a home put the kids to sleep. we get caught up; we forget sometimes how we are alive against all odds when we were never meant to survive, when having arrived here is a miracle.
you name us and reveal your own deadened imagination. crazy, savage, violent, barbarous, irrational, a mob—we expect these descriptors. when you try to teach us, we see you. when you talk down to us, we’re armed. we recognize you, masters, assassins, police, prison guards, consular officer. we only seem new to you because you’ve ensconced yourselves in a dreamworld of white delusion built on our silences—yet now that our void talks back, a chasm erupts under your boots.
YOU NAME US YOU RENAME US YOU NAME US YOU NAME US YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU
our negative space. your can’t imagine our shape. we build no bridges for you. what makes you think you can identify what you see? our open wound—the eye you can’t touch.
and now we eclipse the addressee. now we nurture other mongrels. find each other. cook and eat together. read together. speak your secrets when the time is right. scorch their books by moonlight in your backyard. burn your bridges to white hope. extinguish the promises they made and never kept. burn the memory of that pale face scraping your heart. ignite the times you became smaller than death. keep each other alive.
NEVER ANSWER TO THEIR NAMES
NEVER BELIEVE WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT YOU
do it up mongrel familia: be weak, needy, unhinged, irrelevant, loka, disjointed, monstrous, stupid, carnivorous, revoltosa, behind the times. feast on their fear. live out your wounds. become the invisible bloodline you are and then spurt, scream, let the gallons run down your animal mask down your limbs. wash the walls with your blood knowing tomorrow it will dry. knowing it’s there for everyone to see—but most of all, for you to see. feel the losses you can’t recover. remember yourself. remember your mongrel ancestors. invent them if you have no memory of them. do more than survive.
YOUR TIME IS UP
WE’RE THE RED ANTS FEEDING OFF YOUR DEAD DEER LITERATURE
WE’VE BEEN EATING YOU FROM THE INSIDE OUT
WE’RE COMING FOR YOU <3 <3 <3