Rachel Hildebrandt translating Zoë Beck

Out There

From: Gil Peters
To: Dr. Vera Mertens
Sent: Thursday, 09 June 16, 18:49
Subject: Yesterday’s appointment

Dear Dr. Mertens,
As promised, I gave some more thought to everything we discussed. My perspective is still the same as it was before. I don’t think that now would be a good time to take me off the pills, and I also don’t think that a break in my therapy sessions would do me any good.
I keep wondering why in the world you would even recommend that to me? If you feel like my case is too much for you to deal with or if you think you aren’t competent enough to treat me, then please refer me to one of your colleagues.
I hope you have a nice vacation, and we’ll talk again on the phone on July 8 at 4:00, as agreed.

Sincerely yours,
G. Peters


From: Dr. Vera Mertens
To: Gil Peters
Sent: Thursday, 09 June 16, 20:24
Subject: Re: Yesterday’s appointment

Dear Ms. Peters,
This is just a short note right now, since I’m about to leave on my trip:
Your therapy can only progress if you are willing to cooperate. We see eye-to-eye on this. You claim that you have accepted your condition, and yet you hesitate to conclude your therapy. We need to talk about this after my vacation.
I’m sending you a new prescription. However, while I’m gone, please give some careful consideration to when we can try to take you off of the medication - slowly and gradually - and how we can continue our therapy sessions.
Good luck for the next three weeks.

Dr. Vera Mertens


From: Gil Peters
To: Dr. Vera Mertens
Sent: Thursday, 10 June 16, 01:18
Subject: Re: Re: Yesterday’s appointment

Dear Dr. Mertens,
To be honest, I’m actually really upset about what you wrote. I am making progress! And I think the greatest progress has been made in my realization that I haven’t done anything wrong. I mean, you keep saying that therapy isn’t supposed to make you feel good about something you’re afraid of, but instead should teach you how to cope better with that fear. And if a phobia doesn’t ruin your day-to-day life - then why waste energy fighting it? Hypothetically speaking, should I have to be treated for a hippo phobia if I live in Munich, where there aren’t any, except for the ones in the zoo? (Assuming I’m not the hippo keeper at Hellabrunn!)
I’m now fine with the fact that there’s no reason for me to leave my apartment. We discussed this early on, but since then, the situation has changed to my benefit. I don’t even have to go out to go shopping anymore. Fantastic! I do my work online and earn more money than I did before. (And may I point out that you profit from this, as well?) You also wouldn’t believe how many new friends I’ve made on various platforms. If I did leave my apartment, I’d end up wasting a large part of my very well-paid work time. Nobody actually has to leave their home these days! So why should I, of all people, feel compelled to do so?
Re pills: I’m sleeping really well right now. If I forget to take them, I sleep quite badly.
Re therapy: Although I now accept the symptoms and even view them as beneficial, that doesn’t mean that we should just suddenly forget about the root cause. As far as I can see, we haven’t spent enough time going into this matter.

Best,
GP

From: Dr. Vera Mertens
To: Gil Peters
Sent: Friday, 10 June 16, 07:10
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Yesterday’s appointment

Dear Ms. Peters,
Just very quick, since I’m on my way to the airport. At first, we talked about almost nothing else except the cause, but we didn’t get very far with that. And then, per your personal wishes, we shifted to behavioral therapy sessions to help you cope better with your daily life. But we can return to that subject, if you feel ready for that.

Take care,
Dr. Vera Mertens

From: Dr. Vera Mertens
To: Gil Peters
Sent: Friday, 10 June 16, 12:33
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Yesterday’s appointment

Yeah, sure, it was my fault. Now that we’ve gotten things settled in terms of my daily routine, we can finally continue with the really important things.
I’m done talking about this for now.
Have a good trip.

GP

From: Gil Peters
To: Dr. Vera Mertens
Sent: Monday, 13 June 16, 12:58
Subject: Emergency!

Dear Dr. Mertens,
I’m so sorry to bother you on your vacation… Hopefully you’re reading your emails… Something has happened. My building is being renovated! This morning it was COMPLETELY ENCLOSED by scaffolding. My landlord seems to have failed to tell me about this. I’m now shut in my bedroom, because it’s the only room with blinds. I mean, who needs blinds if they live in an attic apartment?! You know what my place is like. Views to the north, east and south… The Peace Angel and the Isar flats… Nobody can see into my apartment. Nobody can see me. But now this SCAFFOLD! 
Please send in an extra prescription for me, and PLEASE write back! As you know, I’m always online. IT’S IMPORTANT!

GP

From: Gil Peters
To: info@agoraphobia.net
Sent: Monday, 13 June 16, 13:16
Subject: EMERGENCY

Hello,
You offer emergency counseling on your website. I’m in an emergency: They’ve enclosed my apartment with a scaffold. Surrounded it, you could say. I’m too upset to leave my bedroom (the only room with blinds). What should I do?
Please respond immediately.

Gil Peters

From: Gil Peters
To: info@agoraphobia.net
Sent: Monday, 13 June 16, 13:24
Subject: E M E R G E N C Y

Swell. Your realtime service to people in need really works great, from what I can see!!!

Disappointed, GP

From: info@agoraphobia.net
To: Gil Peters
Sent: Monday, 13 June 16, 14:30
Subject: Re: EMERGENCY

Dear Mr. Peters,
Our emergency advisory service would gladly provide you with contacts in your general area. Please send us your address, so we can recommend a counselor with an office near you.

Warm regards,
Your Agoraphobia Team

P.S. Have you seen our online questionnaire? You will receive first response tips as soon as you fill it out.

From: Gil Peters
To: info@agoraphobia.net
Sent: Monday, 13 June 16, 14:33
Subject: Re: Re: EMERGENCY

I’m a WOMAN! And my local therapist is on vacation! This has been really helpful.

From: info@agoraphobia.net
To: Gil Peters
Sent: Monday, 13 June 16, 14:55
Subject: Re: Re: Re: EMERGENCY

Dear MS. Peters,
We understand your emergency! In order to provide you with the best possible advice, please supply the following personal information:
       -   Since when have you suffered from agoraphobia?
       -   On a scale from 1 to 10, how extreme is your current fear?
       -   Which symptoms are you experiencing?
       -   What have you already done to reduce them?
       -   Are you currently in therapy?
       -   If so, for how long?
       -   Do you take any medications?
       -   If so, for how long?
       -   Are you suffering from any other mental or physical problems?
Please go through the online questionnaire on our website. Once you have filled it out, a personalized list of first response tips will appear on your profile page.

We hope this has been helpful.
Your Agoraphobia Team

P.S. Have you seen our online questionnaire? You will receive first response tips as soon as you fill it out.

From: Gil Peters
To: info@agoraphobia.net
Sent: Monday, 13 June 16, 15:00
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: EMERGENCY

Good Lord! I AM in therapy, but my therapist is on vacation right now. I’m on prescription meds. I haven’t left my fucking apartment in over eight years, and it was just FINE that way. No one with internet access has to go anywhere these days. Everything was working out just great until this shitty scaffold appeared today!
I just want to know what I have to do so I can get out of my bedroom. I have to go to the bathroom. I want to get something to eat, but the lousy scaffold workers are outside my windows. I CAN’T LEAVE my bedroom!
Fine, I’ll fill out your questionnaire.

From: Gil Peters
To: info@agoraphobia.net
Sent: Monday, 13 June 16, 15:17
Subject: Questionnaire

You’re kidding about this questionnaire, right? You really have no idea what you’re doing, do you? Take my advice and focus on housewives scared of flying, but NOT agoraphobes.

From: Gil Peters
To: Franz-Xaver Müller-Schwiedens
Sent: Monday, 13 June 16, 15:42
Subject: Scaffold

Dear Mr. Müller-Schwiedens,
Much to my astonishment, I learned today that a scaffold is being constructed around our building. If you would be so kind, how long will this scaffold be up and why is it there? How often will somebody be working around my windows? It is very important to me to be as informed as possible about this unpleasant situation.
Please respond as quickly as possible.

Warm regards,
Gil Peters, attic apartment

P.S. I have already tried several times to reach you on the phone.

From: Franz-Xaver Müller-Schwiedens
To: Gil Peters
Sent: Monday, 13 June 16, 17:58
Subject: Re: Scaffold

Grüß Gott, Ms. Peters,
My secretary and my wife both told me that you called several times. I gave everyone the dates at the last renters’ barbecue in May down on the Isar. I’m sorry. I thought that the word had gotten around. Besides that, I put up a poster.

In any case, the scaffold went up today, and it will be here for about three weeks. The whole building is being painted, and the windows, too. They will also be doing a few repairs to the roof, so you might hear them stomping around up there!

Oh, and if you wouldn’t mind calling your renters’ insurance company, they should be made aware of the scaffold.

Have a nice day, and if the workers do anything stupid, just let me know!
They’re all really nice boys.

Sincerely yours,
Franz-Xaver Müller-Schwiedens

From: Gil Peters
To: info@a-und-o-insurance.de
Sent: Monday, 13 June 16, 18:05
Subject: Renter’s Insurance, Customer No. 4837204P

To Whom It May Concern,
As of today (Monday, June 13), my apartment is surrounded by a scaffold. The work is supposed to take three weeks, and my landlord told me that I should let you know. What he didn’t tell me is if, in a case like this, there will be a reduction in my rent, but you probably don’t know anything about that, right?

Warm regards,
Gil Peters

From: Gil Peters
To: Dr. Vera Mertens
Sent: Tuesday, 14 June 16, 03:34
Subject: Still an Emergency!

Dear Dr. Mertens,
Obviously you haven’t had a chance to read your emails yet. I’m sure you’ll get to them tomorrow. So this is what I know so far: The scaffold will be up for three weeks, and they even want to work on the roof! This means I’m not just surrounded from all sides, but also from the top! (Although “surrounded” might not technically be the right word here.) You can imagine how freaked out I am!
Until you send me some other ideas, this is what I plan to do: I’m going to sleep during the day and stay awake at night. I’ll head to bed around 7:30 am, or whenever the workers get here. Then I will sleep, and by the time I wake up, they’ll have to be gone, right?
I’m sure this will help defuse the whole situation, even if this scaffold still upsets me, whether someone is running around on it or not.
I’ve been wondering if I should double the number of pills I’m taking? Not all at once, but what if I take the first pill as usual before I go to sleep and then another when I wake up? What do you think?
Oh, and if you could go ahead and refer me to one of your colleagues right away, that would be great. The timing of your vacation is horrible, and it really bothers me that you aren’t answering your emails.

Best,
GP

From: Gil Peters
To: Dr. Stefan Brandt
Sent: Tuesday, 14 June 16, 03:51
Subject: Emergency - One of Dr. Mertens’ Patients

Dear Dr. Brandt,
I was informed by the answering service for Dr. Mertens’ office that you are her emergency contact when she is away. Are you able to access her files? If not, could you quickly arrange for that? This is why: A scaffold has been constructed around my apartment, and I can no longer leave my bedroom, except at night. I only go out to go to the bathroom or to get something from the kitchen, but each time I do that, I’m terribly afraid (cf. “Agoraphobia”). I’ve been able to work through all sorts of things, and over the past few years, I’ve been pretty content with my situation. I never calculated on this scaffold, but then again, who would?
If you can get my files, please contact me as soon as you can. I don’t want to have to sit in my bedroom for the next three weeks.
Thank you very much.

Warm regards,
Gil Peters

PS: I’m a private patient.

From: Gil Peters
To: Dr. Stefan Brandt
Sent: Tuesday, 14 June 16, 14:22
Subject: Your Call

Dear Dr. Brandt,
Thank you for your call. I’m sorry I was so sleepy, and looking back, I see now that I probably overreacted. I don’t normally just hang up on people.
The fact is that I already know how important it is to get at the root cause of my agoraphobia. Your suggestion of confronting this reality is definitely an interesting idea, even if it isn’t entirely new to me. Thank you again.
I’ll just wait until Dr. Mertens is back.

Best,
Gil Peters

From: Gil Peters
To: Dr. Vera Mertens
Sent: Tuesday, 14 June 16, 14:31
Subject: Dr. Brandt

Just for the record, Dr. Brandt is an idiot! How could you even possibly consider sending patients to him? I’m shocked. He called me and mumbled some drivel about confronting reality. What did he think I should do? Run to the police and press charges, eight years late? I know that the statute of limitations is twenty years, but what good would this do me?

From: Gil Peters
To: Dr. Vera Mertens
Sent: Tuesday, 14 June 16, 15:37
Subject: Scaffold

They keep running around, outside of my windows. I can hear every little sound. Of course, I can’t sleep, even though I took a pill. I just can’t sleep. They keep walking around on the scaffold and stopping in front of each window!

From: Gil Peters
To: Dr. Vera Mertens
Sent: Tuesday, 14 June 16, 17:44
Subject: Scaffold

I think they’re gone. But over the past few minutes, I’ve heard more sounds coming from the scaffold. Maybe some children have climbed up it. Or my neighbors downstairs are playing on it. I can’t go see though. I’m not leaving my bedroom until it’s dark.
GP 

From: Gil Peters
To: Dr. Vera Mertens
Sent: Tuesday, 14 June 16, 23:59
Subject: Root Cause Research

I don’t know. I’ve been thinking this whole time about what use it would be to press charges. This isn’t the way I was thinking we would try to tackle the root cause. We talked about this some time ago, and I still think it wouldn’t do any good. I know that he now has a wife and a little boy. I found M. on Facebook. He has taken over the management of his father’s company and looks really happy in the photos. What would happen if I filed charges against him? It wouldn’t make my life any better.
Besides that, I still think it wasn’t necessarily all his fault. Maybe I wasn’t clear enough, maybe he didn’t really understand the situation. And if now eight years later, I file charges against him just because there’s a scaffold around my apartment… This Dr. Brandt is a moron for even suggesting it. That guy is just dangerous. Honestly.

From: Gil Peters
To: Dr. Vera Mertens
Sent: Wednesday, 15 June 16, 05:37
Subject: Complaint

Hm. Hm. Hmmmm… About the charges… It would be total bullshit because, eight years after the fact, I’d have to talk about everything that happened with total strangers! And what in the world would I gain from that? I think I’ll call Dr. Brandt back tomorrow to see if he can explain it to me.

From: Gil Peters
To: Dr. Vera Mertens
Sent: Wednesday, 15 June 16, 14:29
Subject: Roof

They’re up on the roof. I can hear them crawling around, and they seem to be scraping the gutters. I hate knowing they’re right above me.
I got into bed late this morning. Or they were early. In any case, I was just looking for a book in my office, when one of them knocked on my window and waved at me. I really should have hung blinds up everywhere.
On the other hand, I don’t feel comfortable in my bedroom, despite the blinds. Because I can hear them running around the whole time.
I’m not going to call Dr. Brandt after all, because I can imagine what he would say to me. But I’m not out for revenge! Satisfaction is just another word for revenge. And I can’t say if that would be just or not.
Besides, it wouldn’t bring Jan back. And that’s what it’s all about. You have to consider the consequences, right? Jan would stay dead, and I would probably end up feeling worse, if I press charges against M., because it would make his wife and son unhappy.

From: Gil Peters
To: Dr. Vera Mertens
Sent: Wednesday, 15 June 16, 23:23
Subject: Jan

I can’t work. I haven’t been able to work since the scaffold went up. I can’t sleep anymore, no matter how many pills I take. I just want this shitty scaffold gone. I won’t make it for three weeks. I don’t know where I’m supposed to go! After my earlier email, they knocked on my bedroom window. EVEN THOUGH THE BLINDS WERE DOWN! When I didn’t open, they rang my doorbell a few minutes later. And then they shoved a note under the door: My windows are going to be painted next Tuesday, and I will have to open them! Every single one of them in my apartment!
There’s no way. Is there anything I can do to stop this? I already called my landlord, but he doesn’t understand why this is a problem. Between you and me, he’s an idiot. All he said was that the weather is supposed to be nice on Tuesday. Oh well, never mind then.
All the windows!
I can’t work. Now even less than than before the announcement about the windows. All I can do is think, about Jan. Dr. Brandt actually called me this evening, and he once again advised that I face up to reality and that the best way to do this would be for me to calmly write down everything that happened. That’s what I did, and it is finally clear to me that Jan didn’t have that accident because he was so upset at me! I’ve spent the past eight years blaming myself for nothing. I kept thinking that if only I hadn’t told Jan what M. had done to me, he would still be alive. He was so upset! He kept asking me: How could that happen? And how he yelled at me! But no: He was in that accident because he had been so horrified by what M. had done. This is marvelous, simply marvelous…
I need to calmly think through all of this.
If only this scaffold weren’t…
I keep thinking this scaffold is distracting me…

From: Gil Peters
To: Dr. Vera Mertens
Sent: Thursday, 16 June 16, 09:17
Subject: Jan

Just now - I still can’t sleep despite the pills - just now, I called Jan’s parents to talk about everything with them. They still blame me! They didn’t want to listen and wanted to know why I hadn’t pressed charges back then. According to his mother, if I had pressed charges right then and there, Jan surely wouldn’t have gotten so upset ABOUT ME and then wrapped his car around that tree. I told her, No, it wasn’t true. He was appalled by what M. had done to me, and that’s why he was so upset! All she did was laugh shrilly. And then I heard Jan’s father in the background:
“It couldn’t have been so bad, if she put up with whatever he did without going to the police afterward!” That’s what he said. “It couldn’t have been so bad!”
So much for a reality check! Everything is falling apart now. I had to tell Jan first! Who on Earth first goes to the police and then tells their boyfriend! And after that?! I was so sure that pressing charges against him wouldn’t help anything. But it would have helped Jan’s parents. (Maybe me, as well?) Should I really go to the police? Would Jan’s parents be happier then?
If I press charges, I’ll have to go through it all again, one, two, three times…
No: Pressing charges would be crap.
Jan’s parents want justice.
I want to finally have some peace.
If M. hadn’t been around eight years ago, then I would be leading a normal life right now and not being driven crazy by this shitty scaffold.

From: Gil Peters
To: Dr. Vera Mertens
Sent: Thursday, 16 June 16, 23:20
Subject: M.

I see very clearly now that M. must be gotten rid of.

From: Gil Peters
To: Dr. Vera Mertens
Sent: Sunday, 19 June 16, 04:12
Subject: M.

I’ve been doing a lot of research. I haven’t done anything else for the past few days. There are various ways that you can take care of things. Haven’t I said that there’s absolutely no need for anyone to leave their home? Even something like this can be set up online: Once you’re assigned an anonymous username, you go to a secure Darknet chatroom, where you can search for a provider who meets your needs and then discuss the details.
On a related note, it costs much less than I thought it would. I offered them twice what they were asking for in Bitcoin. I didn’t want them to try to double their profits by warning him ahead of time and getting him to pay them for not following through.
I have no idea how they’re going to do it. Or who is going to do it. I’ll find out soon enough. Or maybe not.
Of course, there’s a risk that they’ll screw me over, but what other option do I have? None. M. must be gotten rid of. That’s it.
I’m really excited by the fact that they offered to film the whole thing with their cell phone and to post it online. I’m the only one who knows the URL. It will happen tonight… In less than 24 hours… I’m sure you understand. You won’t approve, but you’ll understand. It’s just fine if you don’t want to comment on it right away.

From: Gil Peters
To: Dr. Vera Mertens
Sent: Sunday, 19 June 16, 10:03
Subject:

I wish they would at least send me a short update.
This waiting is driving me crazy.

From: Gil Peters
To: Dr. Vera Mertens
Sent: Sunday, 19 June 16, 14:46
Subject:

I bet they’re waiting until dark.

From: Gil Peters
To: Dr. Vera Mertens
Sent: Sunday, 19 June 16, 21:34
Subject:

Maybe it’s still too bright. What do you think?

From: Gil Peters
To: Dr. Vera Mertens
Sent: Sunday, 19 June 16, 21:51
Subject:

They’ve probably scammed me. They took my money and skipped town. A lucrative deal. It’s not like you can just go to the police and say: Hey, I paid a couple of sketchy guys I found on the internet, so that they would take care of something for me. As for that what that something was, I can’t exactly say, but I want my money back anyway.
Stupid…

From: Gil Peters
To: Dr. Vera Mertens
Sent: Sunday, 19 June 16, 22:09
Subject:

M. is a family man… I bet he goes to bed early… When are they going to do this?

From: Gil Peters
To: Dr. Vera Mertens
Sent: Sunday, 19 June 16, 22:14
Subject:

There’s no way they could’ve just forgotten. This isn’t the kind of thing that slips your mind. It’s not like they have fifty contracts on a given day. Oops, I guess we forgot about that one!
I’m refreshing the site every ten seconds, but there’s nothing there. No. They screwed me over.
Oh well, it was a try. It probably wouldn’t have helped anyway. Just like pressing charges.
Or is this maybe a sign? Fate’s way of telling me that that I should have filed charges after all?
The suspense is killing me!

From: Gil Peters
To: Dr. Vera Mertens
Sent: Monday, 21 June 16, 03:00
Subject: Done!

They did it! And I was allowed to watch! They filmed it with their cell phone. The quality was bad and everything was pretty dark, but they were thoughtful enough to shine a flashlight into his face when they were done so I could see. I had really wondered if this would help anything. But honestly: I now feel much, much better. I still can’t think things through calmly. Everything keeps swirling around in my mind. I feel incredibly relieved, almost like I’m high… And tired… Although I’m excited.... But I haven’t really slept much in the past week. Now I can sleep for days on end.
Know what? Somewhere deep in my subconsciousness, I probably thought he could climb up the scaffold and break into my apartment. And then the same thing would happen all over again.
Well, eight years ago, he didn’t break in. He said he wanted to drive me home. Of course, he didn’t really take me home, but you already know that. That’s why I always thought, hm, perhaps he misunderstood something, perhaps I sent the wrong signals… But after I wrote down all the facts, like your colleague recommended…
Now it’s over. I don’t need to worry about anything else now. I’m not sure yet how to break the news to Jan’s parents. Maybe in person? I could go over to their house tomorrow, once I’ve gotten some sleep. Although, what am I supposed to… On the other hand… Whatever. Main point: go outside.

From: Gil Peters
To: Dr. Vera Mertens
Sent: Monday, 20 June 16, 08:21
Subject: Going Out

Dear Dr. Mertens,
I slept for a few hours. Not long, but deeply and restfully. I didn’t dream about anything, although I typically do that whenever I take the pills.
I think I’ll go out of the building today. Yes, that’s right! I’M GOING OUT! I just don’t know yet where I should go. I actually have no reason to go outside. Oh well. Ah, here come the workers. They waved, and I waved back. See? I’m really doing so much better!
Talk to you later.

Warm regards,
Gil Peters

From: Dr. Vera Mertens
To: Gil Peters
Sent: Monday, 20 June 16, 11:07
Subject: Re: Going Out

Dear Ms. Peters,
I have returned much earlier than expected from my vacation. It was all rain, rain and more rain. I see that you sent me a large number of emails. Unfortunately the hotel’s internet connection was down. (Some line or another had been damaged by the storm.)
I have only read the last of your messages, and I’m delighted that you’re doing so much better and are open to taking the first step back out there.
Now I will read the rest of your notes.

All the best,
Vera Mertens

From: Dr. Vera Mertens
To: Gil Peters
Sent: Monday, 20 June 16, 11:45
Subject: Please Call Me!!!

Please call me as soon as you read this! I seem to have misunderstood a few of your emails. You were doing some research, right?
I’m a little confused. Please call back right away! I tried to call you several times, but you’re not picking up!

From: Dr. Vera Mertens
To: Gil Peters
Sent: Monday, 20 June 16, 12:00
Subject: Please Call Me!!!

Ms. Peters,
I’ve calmed back down now. Is this some form of revenge on your part because I didn’t respond to you? I couldn’t. I was stuck in a vacation resort, where all the communication lines were down because the rain had caused mudslides in the area. But now I’m back and have time for you. Please pick up the phone.

Dr. Vera Mertens

From: Dr. Vera Mertens
To: Gil Peters
Sent: Monday, 20 June 16, 12:31
Subject: ???

I’ve just read online about the brutal mugging and murder of family man and businessman, Martin N. Tell me it’s not true! I’m leaving now to drive over to your place. I hope very much that you will open the door when I ring.

From: Gil Peters
To: Dr. Vera Mertens
Sent: Monday, 20 June 16, 12:33
Subject: Re: ???

No, wait. I’ll come to you. And you’re right. We really need to talk.
I just looked up the particulars of doctor-patient confidentiality, and I’ve obviously put you in an awkward situation.
This scaffold distracted me.
See you soon!

From: Dr. Stefan Brandt
To: Dr. Vera Mertens
Sent: Monday, 4 July 16, 20:13
Subject: Where Are You?

Dear Vera,
How was your vacation? Did you have a good trip back?
I tried all day to reach you… Your cell is off, and the landline just rings and rings. At the office, the answering service is still picking up, claiming that you’ll be back on the fourth, today… Your patients are all lined up to see me…
Could you please call me back right away?

See you soon,
Stefan

From: Dr. Stefan Brandt
To: Dr. Vera Mertens
Sent: Friday, 8 July 16, 17:10
Subject: Sign of Life?!

Vera,
On Monday, I assumed you might have missed your flight, or maybe you had met someone interesting… But by now… You aren’t at home, and you aren’t picking up your phone. Your patients are still taking over my office. I’m starting to get a little worried.
Be in touch, okay?

Stefan

Rachel Hildebrandt

 

With degrees in art history and historic preservation, Rachel Hildebrandt worked for years as a historical consultant and academic editor before transitioning to literary translation (German). She has published both fiction and nonfiction works in translation, including Staying Human by Katharina Stegelmann (Skyhorse), Herr Faustini Takes a Trip by Wolfgang Hermann (KBR Media), and Collision by Merle Kroeger (forthcoming, Unnamed Press). Rachel is also the founder of Weyward Sisters Publishing, which focuses on bringing contemporary works of crime and noir fiction by women authors from Germany, Austria and Switzerland to English readers.

Zoë Beck

Zoë Beck writes, translates (fiction from English), and co-directs with Jan Karsten the publishing company CulturBooks. She studied English and German literature in Giessen, Bonn and Durham, after which she became a creative producer for international film productions. Since 2004, Zoë has been engaged as an editor, scriptwriter and director for dubbed film and television productions, in addition to her work as a novelist and translator. She now lives in Berlin, and her next novel will be published in 2017. Her awards include the 2010 Friedrich Glauser Prize for "Best Crime Short Fiction", the 2014 Crime Prize from Radio Bremen, and the 2016 German Crime Fiction Prize (national), Third Place, for Schwarzblende (Fade to Black). 

Photo credit: Annette Goettlicher 

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